My WTF really didn't help my find clarity of what or how I should move forward from here. I disparately would like my own biological child. Why can I not get over this. The only DE option and offer I only took seriously was my sister's and when she backed out I was determined I would get pregnant with my OE's.
As time has past and three and a half IVF's later I am not pregnant. My RE still believes that I can get ku with my OE's, but it may not be with the next IVF and maybe not the one after that. When does one get to a point to move on? Do I need therapy to get to this place? I have so many wonderful people, friends and family that have offered to donate. I do not think I could take an egg(s) from a friend, but I have amazing cousins that would be wonderful choices, all I have to do is say the word! Even if I were to take the leap, conquer whatever fear it is from making this decision it would be at least 6 mo to a year before DH and I could even afford to cycle again. Why is it a fear? Why do I feel that it is something I have to conquer? Why am I letting IF define me?
My RE does not feel I need anymore testing to determine if my body is rejecting the embryo. He feels that DE will be a success for us the first time. He spent a lot of the conversation discussing why I would be a perfect DE candidate, and in the back of my mind, I ekpt thinking that nothing is for sure, so how can you say that.
What I know for sure is Dh and are not ready to give up on being parents. I will have more treatments, I'm just not positive if we will move forward with my egg or a donor's.
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