The planets and stars may not be perfectly aligned, but I'm feeling lucky :)

I caught a bug and I was super sick Wed. with a fever and achy body. I felt like shit balls. I went to the local urgent care, they suspect I have the flu, but did not test me for it since I was immunized early in the season he didn't feel tamaflu would be helpful. The MD felt it wasn't necessary to do any testing because he did not feel it was safe treating me with meds since I am stimming for IVF.

I was very annoyed! I spent all that money when I could have told myself the same info. The least they could have administered me a liter of IV fluid since I was dehydrated. I called my RE; they gave me the ok to take Tylenol cold and flu which was my life saver. I'm so happy that I’m a nurse with hook-up's. I was able to have a friend administer a liter of IV fluids. I'm so happy to report I’m on the mend now, and feeling much better.

All in time for my upcoming u/s this Monday. I have realized during myself imposed break that things will never be perfect. I may not be in perfect health. DH is getting laid off. My FIL has moved in because he is out of work. Yet I am very optimistic. I feel that even though the planets and stars are not aligned. Things in our life are not perfect; I'm in a good place mentally. DH and I are in an amazing place as a couple. Things just seem to be right. Which is the reason I know I'm going to be knocked the eff up with this IVF :)

Today "I got my nails did" to help celebrate. It doesn't hurt to have a little extra luck on my side either.

R.I.P Baby Bertha aka Bertha the Battle Cat

Last Thursday we had to put our sweet cat Bertha to sleep. DH liked to call her Bertha the Battle Cat.  I called her Baby Bertha. She lived for an amazing 19 years.

I love both of these pics. The Pic on the left she was attempting to reach her cat treats. The one on the right I was working on my bachelors in Nursing. I believe I was working on a paper in our home office and she was keeping me company!

We will miss her forever!

Last BCP :)

I took my last BCP today. My IVF is getting closer and closer! I am so optimistic about this cycle. I cannot wait to get this show on the road!!  In a few days AF will arrive and it will be the last time I see for a very, very long time.  She will no longer be welcome in our house.  Baseline u/s is on Monday 3/5!  Hooray :)

Obligatory Med pic :)

This is what $9k of fertility drugs look like! I took two separate pics for your viewing pleasure.

Thanks to everyone who donated meds which helped to make this possible for us :)

The countdown has begun...

The last few months I have been doing my very best distracting myself from most things IF. I studied for and took the GRE, applied for a Nurse Practitoner Program. Now that my NP application has been submitted, I am pulling out all my other distraction tools. I have been working out. I have found that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE kickboxing. Who knew punching and kicking a bag would give one so much satisfaction? I imagine watching myself--I know I look ridiculous, I laugh at myself half the time I'm there and I get an awesome workout! I've been snowboarding a few times this season, but the snow has really sucked. I have become a snobby rider. If the weather is less than ideal, or there hasn't been recent snowfall I have no desire to go.

I start lupron this Friday, Estrogen priming on 3/6 and stims on 3/12!!! I cannot believe I am on the countdown for IVF# 3! Our third and final IVF with my OE's! I have so much excitement, optimism, and anxiety all at the same time. I have been doing my best being positive for this cycle! I have been going to acupuncture, reiki, I know that working out has really helped my attitude and I have pulled out my IF meditation mp3's. I have the best husband, friends and parents supporting me. It is amazing the support I have. Although my DH is a pessimist he is working on being positive for this upcoming cycle for me :)

This protocol is the same as my first protocol, but my stims are more aggressive. The most aggressive the clinic, possibly any clinic would use. Sit down... I will be on 750 units of follistim a night. I pray, pray, pray that this does the trick and brings us our sticky baby!!! I am keeping my fingers crossed I will have two or three follicles; I would be ecstatic for more. However, it is not the number that is important to us. We are looking for QUALITY. I am so excited to get this party started. In one month from now I will be in Las Vegas soaking in the sun, while my ovaries work overtime to bring me and DH our baby :)

I am so excited my parents are driving down with me for support. I will stay with my Aunt and her DH again. My parents will stay in a nearby hotel and they will be there for the first couple days until DH arrives for ER and ET. It is so hard to be there without a shoulder to cry on or have anyone there to jump for joy with. My Aunt is an amazing support, but it will be nice to have my parents as well.

The icing on top is the end of my stay I will meet one of my fellow bumpies who will be there for a short getaway!!! I feel so good about this cycle. I hope nothing takes that away from me :)

It's time, time for an update...

It has been too long!  After my last BFFN and my sister backing out from being my donor, I needed a much needed break from most things IF related.  

I finally feel like I can move forward.  I have received my calendar for my upcoming IVF using my OE.  I have started taking the pill and we are moving forward, this cycle will bring us our take home baby.  This cycle has to work.  A BFN is not an option!  I am finally starting to get excited about this cycle.  I cannot wait to get this show on the road!!!  I start stims March 12th, which is just around the corner.  Hooray!!!

I found an amazing quote on pinterest.  I have written it down, and put it in my wallet so I can read it everyday.  This cycle will bring us our BFsP :) 

Roller Coaster

I hate that IF is a huge roller coaster! One day I am very optimistic, the next very pessimistic.

Last week my sister backed out. She has too many reservations and has decided not to be our egg donor. I am not going to lie this was a huge blow for me! I thought this was our answer to bring us our take home baby. I am not mad that she changed her mind, just heartbroken. Again, I am feeling like we are so far away from having a Mindy and Whistler baby. I feel that using my sister's eggs was the closest we were going to get. I will continue to be on a TTC break throughout the holidays, and will most likely give IVF one more try with my eggs in the spring. It has to work! I have no other option, but for it to work!!!

I have tried things that I never imagined I would try to help us achieve pregnancy. I take a sh!t load of supplements to improve egg quality, such as wheat grass, coq10, multivitamin, etc. I have been going to acupuncture. I find acupuncture surprisingly relaxing. I have tried reflexology, only once, I'm not sure if this one is for me. Most recently I had a Reiki session, and loved it! I have no idea if any of these alternative medicines will help us conceive, but I am willing to try anything, if it does not harm me in anyway. More than anything I have been trying to stay busy and not obsess, which is not an easy task!

Things I have been doing to try to keep my mind busy...

·  Meeting my nieces and nephew. In the last few weeks/months I have celebrated the birth of my sister’s son, and both of my SIL's daughters. They are all so different and beautiful. I pray every day Whistler and I will be able to experience this!

·  Applying for graduate school. I want to be a nurse practitioner, so I am taking steps for this dream to become a reality.

·  Working. I love my job; I love taking care of patients; there is nothing more fulfilling then watching a critically ill patient go from death's door step, to walking out the hospital doors, to enjoy life with their families.

·  Snowboarding! My favorite pastime. The resorts open this Thursday; I will be going up Monday with a few of my good friends!

I am not going to ever give up on my goal of being a mom! My next IVF will work!!!