A Christmas Wish…

Besides the obvious of wishing for a baby, I have a wish for those who have not personally experienced infertility.    

Why do I have a wish for those who have not been directly impacted by infertility?

A hope of infertility awareness and sympathy for those who are in the trenches or have experienced it.

I should preface this post, with the fact that the other day I met up with an old friend.  She and I were talking about trying to build our families.  She has not being trying near as long as W and I have.  I consider this lady one of my dear, dear friends.  I love her for so many reasons.  I do not want to discount other friends that and family that have been compassionate toward us throughout our journey.  However, one thing stood out this time.  She has sympathy, not pity, she does not minimize our pain, or disregard mine and W’s situation.  She told me she tries to put herself in our shoes, because she and her husband could easily be in our position.  That being said, she mentioned many times she has thought, “why does W and Mindy continue down the path of fertility treatments, why not peruse other alternative ways to parenthood?” She realizes that everyone’s path to parenthood may be different.    

I know that those who have not been personally touched by infertility will never truly understand what it’s like.  For me, this is has been hands down the most painful thing I have ever experienced.  More painful than the sudden death of my older brother when I was in High School.  This is why I have a wish.  

I ask those who have not been personally touched by infertility to think about something that you have dreamed about your entire life…  

Now imagine that one day you are told that you cannot fulfill that dream easily.  It may happen, you have a 5% chance of it happening.  So you work hard!  Really damn hard.   You may be close to fulfilling that dream and then something gets in the way and it sets you back a few months, maybe a year.  And it happens time and time again. 

This has been our infertility roller-coaster.  If it’s not a money, it’s a new diagnosis, a chemical pregnancy, and/or a failed cycle.     

I wish for sympathy.

I wish for some understanding.

Understanding that infertility is a loss.  Loss of a child that is not here yet. Loss of a dream.  The dream of having the “normal” path to parenthood.  Loss of seeing a pieces of me and my husband in our child.  The possible loss of never being able to carry a child in my womb. 

I wish for those not to question another couple’s path. As no one’s path in life is the same.

I wish for compassion.

This is my Christmas wish