I hate that IF is a huge roller
coaster! One day I am very optimistic, the next very pessimistic.
Last week my sister backed out. She
has too many reservations and has decided not to be our egg donor. I am not
going to lie this was a huge blow for me! I thought this was our answer to
bring us our take home baby. I am not mad that she changed her mind, just
heartbroken. Again, I am feeling like we are so far away from having a Mindy
and Whistler baby. I feel that using my sister's eggs was the closest we were
going to get. I will continue to be on a TTC break throughout the holidays, and
will most likely give IVF one more try with my eggs in the spring. It has to
work! I have no other option, but for it to work!!!
I have tried things that I never imagined
I would try to help us achieve pregnancy. I take a sh!t load of supplements to improve
egg quality, such as wheat grass, coq10, multivitamin, etc. I have been going
to acupuncture. I find acupuncture surprisingly relaxing. I have tried reflexology,
only once, I'm not sure if this one is for me. Most recently I had a Reiki
session, and loved it! I have no idea if any of these alternative medicines
will help us conceive, but I am willing to try anything, if it does not harm me
in anyway. More than anything I have been trying to stay busy and not obsess,
which is not an easy task!
Things I have been doing to try to
keep my mind busy...
· Meeting my nieces and nephew. In the last few weeks/months I
have celebrated the birth of my sister’s son, and both of my SIL's daughters.
They are all so different and beautiful. I pray every day Whistler and I will
be able to experience this!
· Applying for graduate school. I want to be a nurse
practitioner, so I am taking steps for this dream to become a reality.
· Working. I love my job; I love taking care of patients;
there is nothing more fulfilling then watching a critically ill patient go from
death's door step, to walking out the hospital doors, to enjoy life with their
families.
· Snowboarding! My favorite pastime. The resorts open this Thursday;
I will be going up Monday with a few of my good friends!
I am not going to ever give up on my goal of being a mom! My
next IVF will work!!!
